My Gift

Yesterday was my birthday and I received the greatest gift. I will touch on that later. The day started like a normal day in the Ortega household. Breakfast for the kids, changing clothes, naps, and so on. We bbq's ribs for dinner and had strawberry shortcake for our dessert ( a great weight watchers friendly idea!) We are in the middle of trying to find a new home and I told my folks and Joe I needed nothing for my birthday, just to know they were thinking of me was gift enough. Although Joe did treat me to a pedicure and getting my nails back on this weekend! As the night went on, Joe headed to bed and I spent my time with the kids before settling them in their beds as well. This is now when my "me" time begins. My friend Tiffany had blogged about another blog spot called A Daily Scoop, I have been looking at it for the past few day but tonight I started at the beginning and read the whole thing. I laughed and cried, and at some points sobbed while reading this blog. I recommend checking it out for sure. I drew so much inspirations from Stephanie's words. I only know her through her blog and she has already taught me so much. She suffered the ultimate loss, the loss of a child. I can not even imagine the feelings the has experienced in the past two months. I know her faith and close relationship with The Lord has gotten her through this. I have not been active in the church since I was 16, so 12 years now. I do have a relationship with my Heavenly Father and I pray every night, with my kids and alone. Recently my home teachers have begun to come over as well as my lovely missionaries who I adore! I feel I am getting closer to where I need to be but I still have a long way to go for sure. I do have a testimony and I hope it keeps growing with everyday. After reading Stephanie's words and realizing how strong she is, I have been inspired. Inspired to be a better Mom, sister, daughter, wife and friend. I cherish my life and everyday I have here, but she has reminded me to enjoy the small things even the annoying things in my hardest of days. Days when It is hard to smile and I have crying kids who wont obey. She has opened my eyes to things I thought I already knew. When I was done reading I went into Jersey's room and picked her up out of her crib and held her tightly in my arms as I rocked her. The nonstop flow of tears wet the top of her precious head and I had no control. A mothers love is like no other. I held her for an hour taking in each moment, each soft breath she took, each squeeze of her hand on my chest, each time she snuggled her head into my neck. I inhaled the sweet smell of my baby girl while having a broken heart for all those mothers who have lost their babies. I know it is all part of a master plan which we have no control over but I still wept for them. After I could finally pull myself together and lay her back to sleep in her bed, I moved on to Treyson's room. I watched him for a moment sleeping in his big boy bed the wrong direction and surrounded by pillows. I ran my fingers through his curly hair and told him how much I love him and how he has changed my life. How it makes me feel so good when he tells me he loves me, and how his humor brings me such joy in my life. I felt as though I couldn't leave the room again. I wanted to craw into bed with him and just snuggle him. I want my babies to always know how much I love them and how special they are to me. I then had to go to my room to my sleeping husband. He is my rock, my best friend, he is without a doubt my everything. I watched him sleep and the tears began to roll again. I am so blessed in my life. I am so in love and so happy. This my my great gift, a gift of thought. Time to recognize all I have in my kids and husband. This night was by far the most emotional one I have had in years. My heart swells today as I think about last night. The thought will stay in my heart and head for ever. I have learned so much about others and mostly myself lately. I am a work in progress but the final outcome will be awesome.